Parental Interference-January 2015

Parental Interference While I was finishing high school and trying to decide on a career direction, my father made it clear he wanted me to pursue an engineering degree and attend the military academy at West Point. He even went so far as to line up the signatures from politicians and others required for the application to that institution. Math was never my strong suit and the idea of being a civil or mechanical engineer had no appeal to me whatsoever. My father was a strong willed first generation Italian gentleman, uncompromising in his belief that as the patriarch, he had full and complete authority over the family and its decisions. Most children are conditioned to obey their parents and never want to disappoint them but in this case, I needed to stand my ground. We butted heads on this subject for many months until he finally acquiesced. For him it may have been the first realization that I was truly becoming independent. In later years, after I was well into my career in Human Resources and before he passed away, Dad admitted that my decision had disappointed him but knew that forcing the issue of me being a cadet was fruitless knowing I had to pursue a career of my choice, not his. One of my life’s greatest joys is having kids. The memories my wife and I have of them growing up are priceless and so many of our discussions have, and continue to be, centered on their lives. Over the years we have had our struggles as the kids matured and fought for independence. It’s tough as a parent not to interfere, particularly when you see the potential for harm but knowing that you have to let them figure things out on their own. It’s a delicate balance between guidance and interference. Not surprisingly, many of the same issues that take place in the family setting also arise when a company is acquired and the parent company feels the need to force its will and maintain authority. In a typical acquisition consolidation of certain functions is imminent for cost savings and efficiency. But what happens when the parent feels the need to exert its authority over the operation of an organization that has been in business for decades and was acquired specifically for their industry expertise just to show who’s boss? A client of mine was recently acquired by a larger company after operating as a private, family owned entity for many years. Despite being a small company they had established many sophisticated policies and practices in order to remain competitive in their industry. The family finally decided it was time to sell and a larger organization looking to expand their market share acquired them last year. During the due diligence process, the leaders of the acquiring company assured the employees that nothing would change and that the primary reason for their interest in the company was the efficient way they ran their business. “Why try to fix something that isn’t broken,” they said. “Like the Billy Joel tune says “we love you Just the Way You Are.” The acquisition was completed at the end of last year and what followed was a classic case of parental interference with the same leaders who had made the pre-acquisition comments, jockeying for authority and seeking to influence virtually everything that had made the company successful. Terms like “We don’t do it that way’ and “That won’t work for us” became commonplace. Even more frustrating was the dreaded, “We’ll have to get back to you on that.” which paralyzed the organization and made folks realize that change was indeed coming and the promises made during the courtship process were just empty words. It’s still early in transition process but many of the employees have expressed concern that the parent company’s tendency to force their will on some issues and fail to make decisions on others is likely to result in turnover and disengagement. These conditions coupled with the feelings that the parent company was untruthful about what was really going to happen after the purchase has left people feeling distrustful and cautious. The leadership team of the acquired company is allowing things to transpire but is uncompromising in their pride and commitment to remaining an industry leader. They are ready to stand up for what they believe in even if it means leaving the organization. My hope is that like my dad, the parent company realizes that sometimes you have to forget your ego and make the right decisions for all concerned.