Delivering a Difficult Message-March 2013

There are many occasions, both in life and at work, where we are called upon to deliver a difficult message. Those of you that are parents, particularly of teenagers, know the feeling of having to say no to a son or daughter's request to stay home alone for the first time or explain why they can't attend a sleep over or party. Over the course of my career I have conveyed my share of difficult news on layoffs, plant closings, disciplinary events and policy issues. HR folks are often called upon to craft a message or coach others on the delivery of difficult messages, but some leaders are better than others. I recall one such situation with a company president who was extremely conflict avoidant. He and I were scheduled to meet with an executive who was to be released that morning, and we had been rehearsing what each of us would say. We agreed that he would deliver the message and then turn the discussion over to me to review severance, unemployment and other logistical items. When the executive arrived, the President cleared his throat, looked him straight in the eye and stated, "Phil's got something to tell you", after which he promptly left the room. When faced with handling these discussions, I have found that a direct but caring approach has worked best for me. What I mean by that is that it's perfectly ok to let someone know that you have a difficult message to deliver. After all, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news, but avoid prefacing the message with an apology like, "I feel so bad having to tell you this" or "I know you are going to be upset when I tell you this." Those lead-ins only serve to emphasize the emotional aspect of the message and heighten the stress of the situation. Instead, try starting the message with words such as "regrettably" or "unfortunately" to express your sensitivity to the issue. In addition, the clearer you can be on the reason for the difficult message the better. "I'm here to tell you that you're being laid off" is certainly direct but provides no explanation of why this is happening. I tend to say "Unfortunately, due to poor business conditions, the company is forced to reduce staff and yours is one of the positions that is being eliminated." It provides the basis for the decision and, though still unpleasant, doesn't leave the employee wondering why he/she received this information. I have also found that the employee is likely not to hear much else after being told of the layoff or termination. For the remainder of the discussion, most employees will have a difficult time focusing on any of the other items you discuss. Try to be as clear and concise as possible, recognizing that you will likely need to have a follow up conversation with him/her at some future time to review the items they missed. Hopefully, the next time you have to deliver a difficult message to your staff it will go more smoothly than those with your teenager. If we can help you prepare your difficult messages and address your employee issues, give us a call at 610-287-1162, or email me at phil@hrsolutionsonline.com for a no obligation consultation. Have a safe and happy spring!

A Matter of Trust-February 2013

After you've heard lie after lie There can hardly be a question of why....... Cause it's always been a matter of trust Billy Joel "I don't trust this person." What do you say to a manager who says that about one of his co-workers? Someone who he or she has to work with every day. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and without it, a friendship or partnership will fail. In the workplace, a team without trust cannot fully function, employees lose confidence in their leaders and productivity is diminished. I was presented with that statement recently and I have to admit, I was temporarily a bit tongue tied. The person in question, Kelly, a customer support manager, had been caught in a lie on several occasions over the past 6 months. Her reputation had eroded to the point where her fellow managers couldn't rely on her information and answers. The lack of trust resulted in the other managers excluding Kelly from daily business decisions and going out of their way to avoid her. Kelly and the employees she supervised became isolated from the rest of the team and ultimately the decision was made to release her. During the exit interview, Kelly confessed that she had lied to her co-workers in an effort to deflect blame for some recent service breakdowns in her department. She thought that over time, people would forget about the incident but her lying became her defense mechanism and it became a habit she couldn't break. The good news is Kelly's former team began to flourish under the new management. Unlike Kelly, the new manager created an open and caring environment and insisted on having team members assume accountability for their actions. The department's credibility was slowly restored and what started as a disaster, turned out to be quite a success story. One of the best ways to surface comments that employees may otherwise be reluctant to bring to management's attention, is a through a confidential employee survey. Questions can be developed to help identify potential problem areas and an action plan formulated to address them company wide. Call us at 610-287-1162 or email me at phil@hrsolutionsonline.com to learn more.

My Top Ten Holiday"I'll Never" List-December 2012

I've had a great year. Business could always be better and life isn't without its difficult times but overall, both personally and professionally, I've had a great year. Hey, I know that my positive outlook on life isn't for everyone and can even irritate some people, but at this time of year I can't help but reflect on the good things in my life. Many folks I know find the holidays very stressful and depressing, faced with financial difficulties, family obligations, and time restraints. It's easy to focus on the "cons" and lose sight of the "pros." So at a time when many are saying "I'll never get everything done" or "I'll never get through the holidays" here are the top ten on my "I'll never" list that keep me feeling so fortunate every day. I hope, in some small way, it helps you navigate through the stress of the season. •I'll never be rich, but I have everything I need. •I'll never be brilliant, but I'm smart enough to know better. •I'll never be tall, but I can still reach my potential. •I'll never have enough friends, but the ones I have are great. •I'll never be the focus of women's desire, but one woman still loves me. •I'll never have more kids, but the two I have are everything I could want. •I'll never get my hair back, but I still have enough to comb. •I'll never be thin, but most of my clothes still fit. •I'll never be famous, but I'll still be remembered. And last but not least . . . •I'll never be young again, but growing old with the person you love is worth the aches and pains. My best wishes to you and yours for a safe and happy holiday season and a prosperous New Year.

The Fallen Willow-November 2012

The wrath of Hurricane Sandy thankfully spared my family. Unlike many others who were without power for several days, experienced severe flooding and property damage and even loss of life, we escaped relatively unscathed. When the weather cleared, my wife and I wandered outside to survey the damage. Sadly, a forty foot weeping willow tree we planted many years ago had been uprooted by the strong winds and lay there in the yard with its severed root ball attached. We had planted several of these trees as saplings but this was the only one that survived. It had been on our property the better part of 20 years and we had seen it flourish and grow. The tree's demise reminded me of how, without continued support and a strong base to rely upon, even people and things that appear indestructible can topple like our willow tree. The fallen willow was also reminiscent of people I have seen hired who were believed to be the answer to a company's prayers. They were vigorously recruited for their perceived strength and expertise in the hope that they would somehow impart those qualities upon the existing employee base that was deemed lacking in skills and abilities. "We need to bring in outside talent" was, and continues to be, a common phrase bandied about during succession planning sessions. To me, that overused phrase is nothing more than a cop out that enables an executive team to abdicate their responsibility to develop and nurture the talent within. They labor under the misconception that it's easier to pin our hopes on the new person than exert the time and effort to cultivate what we already have. Unfortunately, more often than not the superstar candidates turn out to be much less than expected. Unless they are able to become rooted in the company culture and can build support among their co-workers, they simply won't last. They may still project the superficial image of the perfect candidate but ultimately they will leave the organization. Ironically, that same facade will help them secure a new position in another company that believes outside talent is the answer. If we can help you strengthen your employee" willow trees" or find a few new "saplings" to grow your company, give us a call at 610-287-1162 or email me at phil@hrsolutionsonline.com. From my family to yours, have a safe and happy Thanksgiving and please keep those still suffering from the effects of the storm in your thoughts and prayers.

False Friends-September 2012

I am truly blessed to have a group of great friends. These are the friends with whom you have gone on vacation, celebrated good times and milestone events together with your children and families, and been there for consolation during difficult times. You have so many memories together that even though you may not see them for long periods of time, when you finally get together the conversation and laughter begin immediately. Unless you are eating or sleeping, there is rarely a time when you have nothing to talk about. These are the people who truly care aboutyou and like you for who you are, faults and all. Over the course of my career I have developed many close relationships with co-workers that have become lasting friends. There are others, however, that I refer to as false friends; those who feign friendship for the personal gain it may bring them through their relationship with you. Such was the case I recently encountered with an employee I'll refer to as Dan who found out the false friends he cultivated over the years weren't there when he needed them most. Dan had a history of verbally disrespecting employees, but he had convinced the owners of the company that what some affected employees called disrespect was really his passion to provide clients the best customer service and, in turn, create revenue for the company. It's true that Dan received high marks from the clients he served, and he felt that their satisfaction ultimately outweighed any mistreatment he doled out to employees to get the job done. The owners knew that Dan had difficulty managing people, and rather than confront the issue they periodically reduced his management responsibility when affected employees he supervised either resigned or threatened to leave. Despite his behavior, they were reluctant to formally discipline him for fear of impacting revenue and client relationships. Over the course of the last year, Dan befriended two new executives who joined the company, and, in the true fashion of a false friend, touted their relationship as "The Three Amigos" in an effort to gain their support. The new leaders, eager to be successful in their new roles, eagerly accepted Dan's praise and camaraderie. The false friendship worked for a while, even allowing Dan to collect a bonus for completing a project that required collaboration with the two executives. But Dan couldn't hide who he really was and on several occasions deflected blame and denied any knowledge or responsibility for issues that were solely his fault. The other two amigos quickly realized they were being used and that Dan's motives were clearly self- serving and disingenuous. Dan had another one of his outbursts that led to the resignation of a key employee, and the owners finally realized he was more of a problem than an asset. When asked by the owners, his executive co-workers told the owner they could no longer work with him and that if he was allowed to remain in his role many more of their staff would eventually leave. The owners had little choice but to release Dan for the overall good of the organization. Dan's plan to advance his career and fool senior management by cultivating false friends quickly unraveled and ultimately led to his separation from the company. The organization is a healthier place since his departure, and many are now asking why it took so long for Dan to be asked to leave. It's never a pleasant task to terminate an employee, but it becomes a bit more justifiable when the person has demonstrated a lack of integrity and credibility. It's clear that false friendships simply can't help those who only care about themselves.

Arriving at the Crossroad-August 2012

This time of year my wife and I are always looking for new routes to and from the Jersey shore that have the least traffic. Over the years we have experimented with our departure time but have yet to find the right window that works on a regular basis. I have a low threshold for sitting in traffic; and when it occurs, the drive can be agonizing for both of us. Recently, I took a friends suggestion to try a "back roads" route home on a Sunday night. We were progressing nicely through the woods and eventually came to a crossroad. I wasn't quite sure where I was, and my male pride wouldn't let me use the GPS on my phone so I made a decision to turn right. After traveling 20 miles out of our way it became evident I took the wrong route. We eventually made it home 30 minutes later than we would have had I taken the road to the left. Had I demonstrated some patience and humility and objectively considered the information at my disposal, I likely would have made a different decision. My experience reminded me of a former co-worker who was eager to climb the corporate ladder at any cost. He was, by nature, a decent guy who was a people oriented manager and wanted to do the right thing for the organization. But his desire for more status, more money, and more power caused him to change into someone very different. He believed that in order to reflect the appropriatepersona of an executive he had to bully others, deflect blame, and always posture things as his idea. He wanted authority with no accountability, which never works for very long. Ultimately, he was deemed unfit to continue in his role after alienating his staff and his peers and was asked to leave the organization. He has struggled reclaim a management role in another company that allows him to return to the financial level and status he grew accustomed to. Like my trip back from the shore, he made a decision at the crossroad that proved to be one driven by all the wrong reasons. Despite being told he was headed down the wrong road, hecontinued in that direction until he became truly lost. I am fortunate to interact with many highly skilled and intelligent workers at the client companies I serve. Some of those workershave discussed their leadership aspirations with me and asked for my suggestions on their respective career paths. Many are at the crossroad of deciding whether to change roles, ask for more responsibility, or stay in their current job and gain more experience. It's a difficult decision for many of these future leaders as they struggle to balance their career aspirations with the reality of a lack of readiness for the next level of responsibility. The majority of these individuals are Generation Y'ers who have been raised by baby boomer parents like me and told they can do or be anything they choose. They are confident and ambitious, yet many have been in the workplace a very short time. My advice to them is pretty simple; make the effort to learn from those around you and treat your direct reports and co-workers as you want to be treated. Most important, stay true to who you really are. Follow the rules and understand the culture of the company but don't let your core values becompromised for the sake of advancement. My co-worker's experience is proof that changing yourself to fit someone else's image is not a long term strategy for success. My hope for these future leaders is that there is a one-way sign at their crossroad that keeps them on the right path.

The Many Faces of Sacrifice-May 2012

My family recently took a trip to Nashville to cheer my daughter on in running her second marathon. My wife and elected to drive rather than fly to visit some of the towns along the way. Sadly, the economic downturn of the last few years clearly took its toll on many of the places we visited. Towns that had spent several years in a revitalization effort were now littered with vacant stores and boarded up buildings. It was evident that many folks had sacrificed their hopes and dreams and were now faced with the task of rebuilding their lives. During the 13 hour drive to the race, while my wife was playing "Words with Friends" on her Droid, I had plenty of time to reflect on the issue of sacrifice as it relates to both career and life activities. On the personal side, my daughter had sacrificed a tremendous amount of time in training, pushed her body to the breaking point, and ultimately accomplished a great feat by running 26.2 miles. My older daughter sacrificed time away from work and lesson planning to accompany us and cheer on her sister. Even my wife and I even made considerable sacrifice by forfeiting the king sized bed in our room to our daughters and sleeping on a sleeper sofa that I wanted to set afire by the end of our stay. From a business perspective, I know that many of my clients make personal sacrifices to keep their employees working and their companies afloat. I have often heard them speak of times when they delayed a home mortgage payment to make payroll or took a loan on their personal credit card because they didn't want to adversely impact their employees. These types of self-less acts go unpublicized and unnoticed, but they occur frequently. The owners feel a moral obligation to protect their employees and I believe this is a primary reason why so many folks I know would rather work for a small company than a large one. So the next time your find yourself angry or upset about a company decision or change in policy, look at it as your individual sacrifice in the face of all of the past sacrifices your employer has made to keep you there. You may not be aware of their past sacrifices but you can be assured that many have taken place for your benefit. So despite your frustration keep in mind that as is the case with so many things in life, your career isn't a sprint but a marathon.

Customer Service-The New Oxymoron

A friend and I were recently commiserating over lunch about the demise of customer service in the work place. Clearly, "customer service" has become an oxymoron like, "jumbo shrimp" and "vegetarian meatballs". Having worked with retail industry clients for many years, I empathize with the HR folks who must find people that have the ability to effectively interact with a customer and create a positive experience. Finding workers with an outgoing personality and who enjoy helping people is a daunting task particularly when paying a minimum wage salary. In most cases the business owner is more concerned with having the necessary staff coverage and minimizing payroll than providing superior customer service. It is even more challenging for those businesses that are seasonal in nature and rely on a few months of revenue to carry them through the year. But those friendly people are out there and when an employer is successful in finding that individual with personality and a service orientation, customer satisfaction and ultimately revenue can increase substantially. Here's what I mean. I stopped to get gas the other morning and approached the cashier to pre-pay. I said "Good morning" and her response was "What do you need?" My first inclination was to say, I need you to drop the attitude but I responded by asking for $50 on pump number 8. She took my money and gave me my change, at which time I said "Thank you". Her response was "Yup." Silly me, I was unaware that the rules of etiquette had changed and "Yup" is now the recommended response to "thank you." Later that day I stopped to buy a birthday card. This time, I received no verbal response at all to my "hello" or my "thank you". To satisfy myself that this person could actually speak, I lingered a bit longer in the store until I witnessed her talking on her cell phone, confirming my belief that her lack of service was intentional and not due to some form of mutism. Here's what I mean. I stopped to get gas the other morning and approached the cashier to pre-pay. I said "Good morning" and her response was "What do you need?" My first inclination was to say, I need you to drop the attitude but I responded by asking for $50 on pump number 8. She took my money and gave me my change, at which time I said "Thank you". Her response was "Yup." Silly me, I was unaware that the rules of etiquette had changed and "Yup" is now the recommended response to "thank you." Later that day I stopped to buy a birthday card. This time, I received no verbal response at all to my "hello" or my "thank you". To satisfy myself that this person could actually speak, I lingered a bit longer in the store until I witnessed her talking on her cell phone, confirming my belief that her lack of service was intentional and not due to some form of mutism. I was convinced that customer service was indeed dead, until my faith in the workforce of the future was partially restored. That weekend, a group of us were in Ocean City, NJ and we went to dinner at one of the restaurants on the Boardwalk. We were a party of eight, and based on the fact that it was a tourist destination, I was anticipating the worst in customer service. Surprisingly, the college student who waited on our table was pleasant, helpful and engaging. She exceeded our expectations just by being friendly and service oriented. Mind you, we're not talking about over the top, Disney experience service but rather, someone who welcomes you, says thank you and tells you to have a nice day. The bar has been set so low that just by doing her job, our waitress received a generous gratuity and our sincere thanks. So why the distinct difference in these levels of service? One could make the argument that there may be some socio-economic difference or personal issues that separate the pleasant from the miserable. It could also be argued that training may have been provided in one environment and not in the other. While both arguments have some merit, I believe that the hiring and selection process is the key component. I have seen many examples of "hiring in haste" to simply fill a schedule slot or add staff. The interviewer tends to focus his or her questions on availability, previous experience and pay rate without ever asking the situational or behavioral questions that provide valuable insight into the candidate's proficiency in dealing with customers. What they get is a candidate willing to accept $8 per hour to work weekends with no customer service skills. In the end, things can get "pretty ugly." Here's hoping you get super service at your next outing and not just a "Yup." If we can help your business in hiring and selecting the best and the brightest please give us a call at 610-287-1162. Enjoy the rest of the summer.