Delivering a Difficult Message-March 2013

There are many occasions, both in life and at work, where we are called upon to deliver a difficult message. Those of you that are parents, particularly of teenagers, know the feeling of having to say no to a son or daughter's request to stay home alone for the first time or explain why they can't attend a sleep over or party. Over the course of my career I have conveyed my share of difficult news on layoffs, plant closings, disciplinary events and policy issues. HR folks are often called upon to craft a message or coach others on the delivery of difficult messages, but some leaders are better than others. I recall one such situation with a company president who was extremely conflict avoidant. He and I were scheduled to meet with an executive who was to be released that morning, and we had been rehearsing what each of us would say. We agreed that he would deliver the message and then turn the discussion over to me to review severance, unemployment and other logistical items. When the executive arrived, the President cleared his throat, looked him straight in the eye and stated, "Phil's got something to tell you", after which he promptly left the room. When faced with handling these discussions, I have found that a direct but caring approach has worked best for me. What I mean by that is that it's perfectly ok to let someone know that you have a difficult message to deliver. After all, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news, but avoid prefacing the message with an apology like, "I feel so bad having to tell you this" or "I know you are going to be upset when I tell you this." Those lead-ins only serve to emphasize the emotional aspect of the message and heighten the stress of the situation. Instead, try starting the message with words such as "regrettably" or "unfortunately" to express your sensitivity to the issue. In addition, the clearer you can be on the reason for the difficult message the better. "I'm here to tell you that you're being laid off" is certainly direct but provides no explanation of why this is happening. I tend to say "Unfortunately, due to poor business conditions, the company is forced to reduce staff and yours is one of the positions that is being eliminated." It provides the basis for the decision and, though still unpleasant, doesn't leave the employee wondering why he/she received this information. I have also found that the employee is likely not to hear much else after being told of the layoff or termination. For the remainder of the discussion, most employees will have a difficult time focusing on any of the other items you discuss. Try to be as clear and concise as possible, recognizing that you will likely need to have a follow up conversation with him/her at some future time to review the items they missed. Hopefully, the next time you have to deliver a difficult message to your staff it will go more smoothly than those with your teenager. If we can help you prepare your difficult messages and address your employee issues, give us a call at 610-287-1162, or email me at phil@hrsolutionsonline.com for a no obligation consultation. Have a safe and happy spring!