Monday, December 14, 2015

"I Just Can't Let It Go"-June 2015

“I Just Can’t Let It Go” Despite an improving job market, there continues to be corporate layoffs and downsizings. During these periods of career transition, networking becomes ever important for the job seeker. I’ve always classified networkers into two distinct types; “givers” and “takers”. “Givers” freely provide time to those in need without looking for reward or return favor while “takers” only call or reach out when they need something. I like to believe I’m a “giver” and while trying to help a gentleman who was recently laid off, he expressed his anger and frustration about the way the company handled the separation. The event happened several months ago and the longer he remained unemployed the angrier he became. “I just can’t let it go” he told me. “No matter how hard I try I can’t help but hold a grudge against the people that did this to me.” Companies both big and small deal with this issue on a regular basis. Overly ambitious employees often believe they must degrade the work of others in order to advance and so they cast blame to deflect their own shortcomings. The victimized employee harbors ill feelings against his co-worker and may lie in wait with his resentment growing just waiting to retaliate. Even more damaging is the manager who holds a grudge against his or her employees for disagreeing with them or speaking out in a way that challenges their authority. I was recently part of an investigation involving a manager who methodically arranged for an employee to become so dissatisfied with his job that he eventually resigned. The employee was hired for his expertise in analyzing product trends. The manager who orchestrated his resignation was instrumental in his hiring which made the situation that much more bizarre. Shortly after joining the company, the employee disputed the findings presented by the manager at a high level meeting. His comments were not malicious but based on fact and the employee was publicly commended by the Vice President for his insight. Rather than congratulating the employee for his astute observation the manager took his comments as an insult and threat to his authority. So began a series of behavioral and performance attacks against the employee that ultimately led to the loss of top talent. The manager was subsequently counseled for his handling of the incident but the damage is done. No doubt others will be less likely to question his actions or information even when they know it’s wrong. We recently spent the weekend with some longtime friends and relating this problem morphed into a discussion surrounded the topic of happiness. My friend said he read somewhere that to achieve true happiness you have to release all grudges. Similarly, I remember attending a workshop with the renowned author and executive coach Marshall Goldsmith where he asked us the think about someone at work who really hurt us and made us feel angry. After a few seconds of thought he asked the group “Do you think they’re thinking about you right now?” We all shook our heads knowing that we were likely the last people on their mind. I told my colleague who was looking for work about these keys to happiness. I encouraged him to “let it go” and focus his efforts on finding a new opportunity in a positive manner knowing that the people responsible for his layoff weren’t worth the energy. I’m not sure he’ll take my advice but hey, if he doesn’t, I won’t hold a grudge.

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