Singing the Holiday Blues

For many years I worked as a part time musician. At this special time of year I often think of Whitey, one of my band mates who passed away a few years ago. Whitey was a terrific musician and singer who was quick to laugh and always had a positive disposition. He once told me that as a child and teenager, he would lapse into a short but intense period of depression at holiday time each year. He would look out his bedroom window and feel sad and alone, even though he was surrounded by a loving and supportive family. This came as a surprise to me since I only knew Whitey as a happy and outgoing guy who loved his music and his family and friends. I couldn't envision him being in this emotional state, despite having an illness where a simple act like bumping his hand or walking into a table leg could have serious implications to his physical well-being.

Whitey suffered from hemophilia and ultimately succumbed to the illness after receiving a liver transplant. I can recall several tense moments during our time performing together when an inadvertent cut or bruise would require Whitey to seek immediate medical attention to get the clotting factor he needed. No one would have blamed him for being depressed and feeling sorry for himself, but like so many others who battle adversity on a personal level, he had an innate ability to suppress the negative aspects of his life and relish the good things he had. I remember asking Whitey what changed him from the depressed child to the upbeat guy I came to know. While he couldn't think of a single event that changed his outlook, he did credit his love of music and the birth of his kids as key contributors to his happiness. Years after his death the band held a reunion benefit in his honor and his kids, both fine musicians in their own right, played on stage with us old guys. Needless to say it was an emotional moment for us all.

Everyone has those "why is this happening to me" moments where we feel victimized and misfortunate due to life's regular ups and downs. It's easy to self- perpetuate this negative outlook particularly during times of high stress like the holidays where the demands of work and family obligations seem overwhelming. During those times I often think of Whitey and others like him and find myself smiling. Their spirit and vigor help me realize that there is much more good in my life than bad.

From our family to yours, have a safe and and healthy holiday season and prosperous New Year!

Phil